Raw From The Road, December 2, 2016
Why I Go ‘Live’
Once we give up searching for approval we often find it easier to earn respect.
Photo: My good friend David, pushed his limits and climbed to Mt. Everest Base Camp in Nepal. The Earth Tread, from Treads on Threads, made it with him…now that’s some serious treading.
It’s very safe to paint in my garage studio, or edit or print photographs in my office, but it is a very solitary process. I need to be alone to create…always have.
When I work, I am alone (except for Luna) and I am pretty comfortable in my own little spaces.
I can start feeling too comfortable and even though I am branching out into the completely new world of textiles, I still work in an isolated space.
I’ve been told over and over again that creating videos for promotion is the best thing I can do to share my work.
However, I have always seen them as sort of a ‘talking blog’ and hoped to do more of them so that I may reach more people in my quest to put out content that is relatable and inspirational.
I committed to creating a live video in my mastermind group and so last week, with a heart beating faster than New Yorkers crossing Broadway dodging a taxi at rush hour, I did my first FB live video.
A large part of the reason I’ve decided to do some ‘Live’ video on FB is to push my own limits of comfortability and to strengthen my “what other people think of me is not my business” muscle.
It was scary, yes. It was also invigorating and felt amazing when I was done because I did something that made me feel alive and out of my comfort zone and I kept to my commitment.
Last Saturday, I did my second FB Live video and again my heart was racing.
However, this time, judgmental thoughts started seeping into my mind, second guessing, criticizing, and negatively analyzing what I was about to do.
I have received hate mail in response to these emails and I think if I were honest, I’d admit it made me a little gun shy about writing more.
I let that affect my process and then I compounded the negativity by beating myself up for letting that affect me in ANY way, further judging myself as not tough enough. (Don’t worry, I now know that I am!)
A small game is so much safer, but here I am, for all the world to see, because I want to “be bold” and live an ‘alive’ life.
When I do the ‘live’ vids I get off on the thrill and it’s just as good as riding on the back of a motorcycle.
Well, almost as good.
With each day that passes, I am witnessing the duality of everything, which makes the less pleasant things more palpable.
It’s that place Pema Chodron speaks about, ‘the middle’ not taking things too seriously when they’re either high or low.
With the shedding of each layer of conditioning, and the false perception that things are mostly definitive, I can see through the mess… the tangle of old beliefs and new questioning that there is indeed, a place that is peaceful, if only for minutes.
It is simply knowing that while today at noon I may feel darn proud of myself for stepping out, that it’s totally possible by 3pm, I may feel something completely different. Then it’s time to listen to my favorite podcasts and read pages from my favorite mentors…oh and probably send an S.O.S. email to my coach.
Perhaps it boils down to this… detachment. Detaching from thoughts mostly and training them to stay the course, the one that I entered the world with, minus the beliefs and fears of others. (Mine are enough to deal with!).
Wishing you a weekend filled with ease….
Be Strong, Be Brave and Be YOU!
PS: I’m going live again some time this weekend! Try it! It’s like taking a cold shower to wake up.