Raw from the Road, April 20, 2017
(Excerpt, March 13, 2013 blog entry)
The Wow Factor
A person who as a physical being is always turned toward the outside, thinking that their happiness lies outside them,
finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within them.
I was so inspired by Destiny Allison’s blog today, that I have decided to start writing about my experience over the last 6 months and post some images along the way from Deconstruction, Self-Portraits in White, a series that is still in development. I think it’s time to get really honest; naked honest… as that is the path I am choosing on so many levels in my life lately. This choice does not come without necessary pain and navigation through what I’m learning to be, unnecessary suffering. However, I believe it is a story that ends in ‘peace’ ever after. Deconstruction is a narrative self-portrait series about the stripping away of old beliefs and identities…mine, and the reconstruction of a belief system that opens the door to living a fulfilled life. The deeper I get into this series, the more I get that I have very little to do with it and that the ideas about it show up all hours of the day and night and if I listen and take their cue, I am fortunate enough to move forward in that creation.
This all started when I began to think of the next photographic series I would work on. What cool subject can I come up with that will wow and interest viewers? What will sell? What will create a splash and get great recognition? Well, it doesn’t take a psychoanalyst to see how hungry and loud my ego was for attention, for acknowledgment, which is ironic, because when I created Beauty and Wisdom that ego had a very small voice and was hardly present or so I thought. When did wowing anybody even come into the picture? After months of jumping around from subject to subject, trying on different ideas, I was spent. Nothing felt right, nothing fit, and often I’d try something new and it didn’t feel like it was for the “right” reason.
I have always known that I wanted my photography to be something that would add beauty into this sometimes-crazy world. Beauty and Wisdom resonated with so many people and I found it fulfilling, lending images and voice to ageism and older women who I felt should be recognized for who they are and had become. They are amazing warriors to me and I felt passionate telling their story. How could I find another subject that would feel as meaningful? Or a better question should have been, how will a meaningful subject ever find me… again?
Wow indeed. It was 3 years ago that I wrote that and now that Deconstruction is near completion, I thought I’d share my original ideas about this body of work and a few more images as well as the rest of this entry in the days to follow. I am reminded of how dear Beauty and Wisdom was and will always be to me. I am happy to be an advocate for our beautiful elders, our grandmothers, aunts, sisters and mothers.
I am down to the last box of Beauty and Wisdom books. These are the 2nd edition and I don’t have a plan to publish a 3rd. If you’re interested you can purchase one directly from me HERE (click on “here”) and let me know if you would like it signed to someone or yourself.
Here’s to you and all your beauty and wisdom!