Wow, it’s been 4 months since I’ve blogged or journaled. Too many people are telling me about their journaling and I take that as a sign to get back on track and do it myself. (By the way, why doesn’t my computer register the words journaling and journaled??) I really like journaling and also blogging, but I don’t have time to do both, so I will blog as a journal, and hopefully, somebody, somewhere, will relate and share their experiences too…sort of like pen pals…but through blogging.
It’s ironic that my last blog talked about my hot yoga class because it was in hot yoga today, that I made the decision to write today. I’ve been meeting a lot of people where I live and I’m beginning to feel a little too exposed…. vulnerable, because the more I am out there, the more there is a chance of doing something, or not doing something, that will insult or rub someone the wrong way. Can you say Weenie?!? I feel like I’ve been in a fog of sorts trying to figure out my “next” step in life…of course, all the while, stepping anyway in the direction I am sure I need to go. But every now and then, I feel like I’m not doing enough or making enough money or I’m just not living as purposeful as I think I can. Sometimes, it is so difficult for me to be content, right where I am…I have so many ideas that I get paralyzed and find it difficult to take a step towards taking action on any of them. But today, I feel more encouraged about taking steps…even if they are baby steps… and as I write this I realize that it is exactly the size of the steps I think I need to take that trip me up. Anne LaBorde, a wise therapist, once taught me that it’s all about taking small manageable steps and I believe that to be true.
Another challenge that gets in the way is when I forget that who I am is enough and that “being seen” is only scary if I care too much what other people think. I have to be who I am… all of who I am. And even I don’t like parts of me… but work on accepting myself and loving myself unconditionally. Yesterday I downloaded “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown and I know I will glean a lot from her words and experiences. I thoroughly enjoyed “The Power of Vulnerability” and now I need another dose of wise words that remind me to embrace my own vulnerability and be perfectly fine with it. I’ve been there before, and I’ll be there again. I find being vulnerable to be so empowering, when I am completely present with it.
I’ll keep this short since writing today was my baby step. Please share any of your experiences and baby steps to get the wheel going again in your life! After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day. 🙂
Wishing you love and light on your journey….
Photo: RJK, Rome, Italy