Raw from the Road, May 10, 2016
I Give Up
…Patience is not just about waiting for something…
it’s about how you wait, or your attitude while waiting.
I give up
I quit I give up. Never again.hate this. I’m done. It sucks. You suck. I suck. The whole world sucks. It’s not fair. Just when I was getting started. I never get past this point. I’m just not meant to succeed. I’m a failure. I should be more ahead in my life by now. It’s my fault. It’s your fault. It’s the cat’s fault.
There! I said it. And you have just been a voyeur into the Grand Robbie Kaye Pity Party and the good news?… Is that it’s over.
But oh how good it felt just to vent and get it out and thank goodness for friends who I can call and say that to and they know that I am just utterly frustrated and hit a bump. And when I say,” I just want to give up” my friend says, “Computer says no.” And I laugh and laugh and in an instant my energy is already on the flip-flop.
And so I DO quit! I quit berating myself for not always knowing how I’m going to create the results I desire, I only know I am. I quit belittling the progress I’ve already made. I quit doubting the universe and my higher power to guide me to and through the next steps.
Oh and I quit making it about lack. I quit feeling sorry for myself and I quit the act of self-recrimination. I give up, I give up, I give up feeling like a victim.
I have friends that are dealing with very serious situations and I want to fix it, change it and I can’t. But I can be there for them, offer my help, pray, practice Tonglen and support them through a very difficult time, just as my friends support me.
Sometimes we have *hitty days, weeks or even months and I forget it is those times that offer the opportunity to experience deep growth, introspection and an invitation to stop… and be still and listen.
So I give up trying … Yes trying… To force things, to tug on the desired outcome.
And… I know feeling like this is human, and I will probably feel like it again someday, but each time, it is for a lesser time and it gets easier to recognize the call for letting go, trusting and divine patience.
Wishing you a peaceful day filled with lots of self-acceptance and patience.
Be gentle with yourself and as always…
Be Brave, Be Strong, Be YOU!