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Looking in the Mirror

In the Still of the Knight

Raw from the Road, April 16, 2018 In the Still of the Knight I’m kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. Yoko Ono   You know the saying “she’s like a bull in a china shop?” Well, picture a bull in a…

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Waste Removal

Raw from the Road, June 21, 2016   Waste Removal Scholar Tokusan, who was full full of knowledge and opinions about the dharma, came to Ryutan and asked about Zen. At one point Ryutan re-filled his guest’s teacup, but did not stop pouring when the cup was full. Tea spilled…

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Small Manageable Steps

Wow, it’s been 4 months since I’ve blogged or journaled. Too many people are telling me about their journaling and I take that as a sign to get back on track and do it myself. (By the way, why doesn’t my computer register the words journaling and journaled??)  I really like…

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Wisdom and Humility

“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” ~William Faulkner   I just got back from a hot yoga class. I have not done yoga steadily since we moved in…

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The Journey Continues

Thanksgiving comes at a perfect time for me this year. Though there have been challenges and losses, which are part of life too, there have been many amazing miracles that I have experienced.  So much growth, connection and love and for that, I am eternally grateful. It’s so easy to…

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Am I Childless?

As I continue to deconstruct…  I was recently in New York visiting my family. Unfortunately, my father had fallen and broken his pelvis and I went there to see him and help out.   Going back always brings up triggers and memories and habitual slush, but this time was different. I’m…

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The Resurrection

 I recently returned from a visit to New York where I spent time with my family.  I brought my camera in case I had the inspiration to work on Deconstruction.  I packed my long white dress, and lightweight tripod so I could fit everything into a carry on bag… a…

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Nothing To Defend

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The Emperess’s New Clothes

Deconstruction, Self-portrait in White, Steele Bridge c 2013 Yesterday I had an out of body experience.  It was amazing, really.  I must admit, I have a cloud of self-consciousness floating about as I write this, but I have committed to letting myself be seen so here it is.  First, a…

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I Won’t Grow Up!

  Untitled, Deconstruction, Self-portrait in White Series I recently went to see Peter Pan, the musical at the Pantages Theater.  I had no idea what to expect, it was date night, we just had a delicious dinner, I had a little wine and I was prepared to sit back and…

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Do I Have to Kill Myself?

Deconstruction, Self-portrait  in White Cathedral Park, Portland, OR The concept of killing my  “self” has crossed my mind.  There have been times when I have been so confused and so down that if a meteor came out of the sky and hit me on the head and took me to…

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Following my bliss?

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Day 44 – Peace

After a couple anger alignment sessions (good talks with good friends) I feel more at peace today. Maybe that’s why I’m wearing white? I really like the concept of the self-portrait and after watching “The Woodman’s” I am even more inspired to work on a self-portrait series, maybe a few….

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Day 43 – Anger

Getting in touch with anger is fascinating to me. I never know I’m really angry until I feel it in an exaggerated way. I haven’t been angry in a long time, but I’m angry now at the behavior of someone I know. I know this will pass and I will…

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