Imperfection

Imperfection, Raw From The Road, February 1, 2018 Imperfection Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius. It is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. -Marilyn Monroe As I started to look into this mirror, cracked and imperfect, I started letting go of my need for perfection… from myself and from others. It was […]
Waste Removal

Raw from the Road, June 21, 2016 Waste Removal Scholar Tokusan, who was full full of knowledge and opinions about the dharma, came to Ryutan and asked about Zen. At one point Ryutan re-filled his guest’s teacup, but did not stop pouring when the cup was full. Tea spilled out and ran over the […]
I Quit My Day Job

Raw From The Road, May 17, 2016 I Quit My Day Job After all these years, I am still involved in the process of self-discovery. It’s better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life. Sophia Loren …selling […]
On Mattering…

On Mattering I had a huge revelation tonight. After attending a fantastic conference with Brendon Burchard (High Performance Academy) and learning about important questions to ask myself like “do I matter?”, I wondered if I really did matter? This thought provoking notion really got to me. For the longest time I have felt purposeful […]
Master of Distraction

The longer I live the more I experience how connected we all are energetically. Lately, I’ve been concentrating on focusing on one thing at a time since I’ve come to the conclusion that doing a lot of things at the same time doesn’t get me very far. The more I express this to my friends […]
Love You vs I Love You

I don’t know if it’s because we are approaching the month of love, but I’ve been wondering about the nuances of how we tell each other we love each other. Did we take the “I” out of “I love you” when texting came into view or was it the fast paced world that got faster […]
What’s the Attraction to Trees?

What’s the attraction to trees? They lose their leaves, They grow buds, they lose a limb, they withstand storms, they are strong and proud and there is a constancy about them. They are everywhere, watching, enduring, reaching out to the sun, being cleansed by the rain…ever growing. Be Brave, Be […]
Small Manageable Steps
Wow, it’s been 4 months since I’ve blogged or journaled. Too many people are telling me about their journaling and I take that as a sign to get back on track and do it myself. (By the way, why doesn’t my computer register the words journaling and journaled??) I really like journaling and also blogging, but […]
Wisdom and Humility
“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” ~William Faulkner I just got back from a hot yoga class. I have not done yoga steadily since we moved in July. Needless to say, I am […]
What are Artists Starving For?

Ever think about what exactly a starving artist is? I have and recently I thought a little deeper about it in regard to my own life as an artist. Usually when we hear that someone is a starving artist we think that they are poor, “starving” and scrounging around all in the name of art. […]
I am accountable for deleting my post on accountability!

Yep, I just deleted my somewhat lengthy post on accountability. I opened it up to edit it, so that I could add a very crucial part that I left out. I guess that this post will make sense to whomever read the last post…. so….. Between the time Luna ran out of Janin Acres […]
The Journey Continues

Thanksgiving comes at a perfect time for me this year. Though there have been challenges and losses, which are part of life too, there have been many amazing miracles that I have experienced. So much growth, connection and love and for that, I am eternally grateful. It’s so easy to get caught up in the […]
Sometimes the Mirror isn’t Cracked

Sometimes the mirror isn’t cracked…. And sometimes it is. For me, when the mirror is cracked, or when I am taking a good long look at myself and I see flaws or where I need to grow, it is the very thing that teaches me how to do so. When the mirror is not cracked, […]
Breaking the Addiction of Struggle

Well… we did it. We finally moved to the country. This New York girl is now living amongst vineyards and horse ranches. I walk around the corner to get my mail. I wake up and hear roosters and horses. I smell hot pine in the heat of the summer and I go for my morning […]
Am I Childless?

As I continue to deconstruct… I was recently in New York visiting my family. Unfortunately, my father had fallen and broken his pelvis and I went there to see him and help out. Going back always brings up triggers and memories and habitual slush, but this time was different. I’m conflicted today, should I write […]
The Resurrection

I recently returned from a visit to New York where I spent time with my family. I brought my camera in case I had the inspiration to work on Deconstruction. I packed my long white dress, and lightweight tripod so I could fit everything into a carry on bag… a first for me. (My husband […]
The Emperess’s New Clothes

Deconstruction, Self-portrait in White, Steele Bridge c 2013 Yesterday I had an out of body experience. It was amazing, really. I must admit, I have a cloud of self-consciousness floating about as I write this, but I have committed to letting myself be seen so here it is. First, a little background. When I was […]
I Won’t Grow Up!

Untitled, Deconstruction, Self-portrait in White Series I recently went to see Peter Pan, the musical at the Pantages Theater. I had no idea what to expect, it was date night, we just had a delicious dinner, I had a little wine and I was prepared to sit back and be entertained. I waited, with […]
Do I Have to Kill Myself?

Deconstruction, Self-portrait in White Cathedral Park, Portland, OR The concept of killing my “self” has crossed my mind. There have been times when I have been so confused and so down that if a meteor came out of the sky and hit me on the head and took me to the next plane, that I […]
Following my bliss?

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Day 44 – Peace
After a couple anger alignment sessions (good talks with good friends) I feel more at peace today. Maybe that’s why I’m wearing white? I really like the concept of the self-portrait and after watching “The Woodman’s” I am even more inspired to work on a self-portrait series, maybe a few. I’m excited to receive my […]
Day 43 – Anger
Getting in touch with anger is fascinating to me. I never know I’m really angry until I feel it in an exaggerated way. I haven’t been angry in a long time, but I’m angry now at the behavior of someone I know. I know this will pass and I will be able to let go […]
Day 41- Differences
The sky was so beautiful. High strewn clouds against a very blue back drop. It reminded me of the contrast needed to understand ourselves and others.
Day 39 – Energy
Day 38 – Time to Refuel
Day 37 – Reflecting
So much is unfolding… Now is a good time for silence. As David Ji says, “Fill what is empty, empty what is full.”
Day 36 – cozy pink robe
Day 28- Meditation
View from my meditation spot this morning…I want so much to quiet my mind.
Day 9 – Being Special

Sometimes, all I have to do is look at Luna (pictured) to be reminded of the inherent happiness and love in all of us. She can amuse herself like nobody’s business… playing with balls and stuffed animals and when we leave to take out the garbage and walk back in the house, she is so […]
Day 7 – Speak No Evil

My father gave this gift of three monkeys when I first got married. I can’t help but wonder if he was trying to tell me something. I had just become a step-mom of three girls. Most of the advice my father has given me I have implemented and if not at the time he gave […]